How do you describe yourself to others? How would others describe you? What types of activities do you participate in that you would say make up your identity? Does that define who you are? Should it? How can you work to better figure out who you are based on how you create your identity?
Is that how you find your priorities as well? Or is it a sign that you may need to readjust your priorities?
What does it mean to "find your identity?" People seem to be drawn to a particular activity or group that they will then associate themselves with. If it isn't work, it is often a hobby or communal gathering around common interests: church, sports teams, colleges, CrossFit, Boy Scouts, other volunteer organizations.
What does it mean to "find your identity?"
Have you ever looked at someone and thought. "I can't believe they are really into ___ that much?" Different people have different interests. Just because you don't "get" whatever their thing is, doesn't mean you don't have quirks of your own. More than likely, there is some activity that you spend an inordinate amount of time on that they have just as difficult of a time understanding.
This is largely why CrossFit has become so popular. The CrossFit community is very tight. Often jokingly referred to as a cult, it has it's own language that would create a common bond between strangers if each spotted a particular logo on the other's shirt or shoes. There is familiarity in shared interests and goals.
Many of us, caught up in trying to provide the best for our kids, create an identity that is centered on them. When our schedules become so busy that we find ourselves spending a lot of time in the car running between practices, that can become our identity. Hence the origination of the "soccer mom." As with anything, if these are the choices that you have made for yourself, it is no one else's business to dictate to you how you should live your life. This only becomes a problem when you feel as though your schedule is running you, rather than the other way around.
If there is one particular activity or group that you can't imagine being away from, more than likely that group is part of your identity. I have noticed that everyone seems to have their "thing." And everyone has the choice of how they will spend their recreational time without the judgement of others, as long as there aren't legal or moral implications.
This is directly related to how we find our priorities. When you are trying to determine how you want to live your life, start by observing the things you are already doing and where you are already spending your time. This is the first indication of what your priorities are in life. This should offer some clues into what you find valuable.
Think about how you spend your recreational time vs activities that you would like to spend more time on. This goes back to the process of moving from where we are, to where we want to be. What hobbies have you always wanted to try? What groups have you been interested in joining? Sometimes people congregate around similar personality styles. Who do you know that you get along with really well? What groups/activities are they involved in that you might join?
Spend more time doing things that you enjoy and give you a sense of purpose.
The idea is to spend more time doing things that you enjoy and give you a sense of purpose. And, conversely, doing less things that drain your energy or you don't feel are in alignment with your priorities. More than likely, there is already someone out there doing it, you just have to go find them and join in.
What groups have you always wanted to try but have been too intimidated? Tell me in the comments. Maybe it's something I would be interested in as well.
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